Friday, January 15, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Quotes to illustrate my life
It is a new year in the Roman calendar. When I was in Indonesia in December 2009, the celebrations for the Javanese New Year was in full swing. The Lunar Chinese New Year will be upon us next month. New years: the more recognised landmarks of time and changes.
I thought I would share some quotes that I hope will illustrate my life over the coming year.
'When one is capable of being in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.' - John Keats
Completing my Bachelor of Arts/ Social Work after six years of university life was a recent landmark for me, one that has foregrounded an element of 'uncertainty' in my life. No longer am I able to give a simple summary for the next year's anticipated plans in the form of: 'Oh, I'm going to uni', 'Yep, still at uni', 'Uh-huh, in my 2nd last year'.
Unlike my Arts degree, which arrived in the mail and provided me with an unmissed anticlimax, I actually made an effort to complete my Bachelor of Social Work. Perhaps this is why its completion will leave a more indelible mark in my life.
I considered quiting many a time and akin to my pedantic nature, I did thorough research into the pros and cons of quiting halfway through. I interviewed friends who had graduated with B.Arts and compared their experiences with friends who had graduated with B. Social Work. I started a scrapbook for possible pathways with and without a double degree. Jesus. I'm crazy.
The last milestone was going through a Mental Health placement with my own emotional organs faltering. I convinced myself that there is discipline to be cultivated in completing something that I started and have now lost conviction for.
Was this the right attitude to take at the time? I don't know. But, as Paula Abood says, 'It is the process that matters.'
Paula Abood is a community worker and activist who spoke at the launch of the Lilla International Women's Network on November the 8th, 2009, an event that I helped to organise.
I cannot recall everything that she spoke about, but these words of hers resounded with me because too often we are overly concerned about the end 'tangible' product, e.g. the obtainment of a piece of paper attesting to my having spent the past six years at university.
But really, what I gained from the past six years was not just a degree. It was practice in communicating with people whose views offended me. It was practice in challenging those closest to me and not just agreeing to passively 'be' with 'like-minded' people. It was habitualising my body and my presence to certain localities, like Cafe Ellas on Abercrombie St in Redfern, creating micro-homes, if you like.
The past six years are still helping me to laugh more easily at cringe-worthy moments, such as when I elected to become an Anti-Racism Officer and completely exoticised peoples in Western Sydney by suggesting that our first activity as a collective should be to organise 'field trips' to sample the foods out west.
CRINGE.
Let's not even begin to discuss how I thought this would address racism. Hah!
The cringe indicates my having changed, my having gained more awareness of racial politics as embodied in the very demographic of Sydney, e.g. the dynamics shaping white-dominated luxurious suburbs of Bondi and Paddington, in contrast to the Arabic-speaking populations of Lakemba, the Assyrian populations in Liverpool-Fairfield... and so on.
Yes, I stumbled, blundered, made a fool of myself and continue to be pig-headed and stubborn about views that I will come to regret, but 'it is the process that matters'...
Another quote I picked out from a poem, 'Say Yes' by Andrea Gibson, and illustrates a sentiment I will strive to uphold:
'Turn in that silver platter, for something that matters.'
I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but certainly as my parents continued to accumulate wealth throughout my childhood, this bestowed me with a gold-laced upbringing within a poverty stricken country.
This year, finally weaned off my parents' dwindling trust fund (yes, I had a trust fund all throughout university life), I am going to attempt to live on my casual earnings from a homeless shelter and maximise the flexibility of this arrangement, in order to pursue theater training.
Whenever the bank balance runs low (and believe me it is low!), I repeat this quote like a mantra and visualise being able to take on more theater commitments. As my Papa says, 'Eat that idealism until you go hungry!' Oh yes, I am eating it, alright! Mmm... Mmm... Mmm...
My last quote for this post is from Alice Cummins, the Body Mind Centering practitioner I had written about in October 2009:
'Make space for uselessness.'
Alice was speaking about 'beauty' and how in many ways 'beauty' can be considered a useless 'thing', but that as human beings 'we need beauty, deeply and desperately'.
This year I hope to make space for 'useless' quiet times, without groping after a reason to justify such peace. I think this requires me to sign off, otherwise I will begin to list all the 'benefits' I will accrue from my 'useless quiet times'!
I wish you a year of growth, of reflection (no matter how occasional) and of fulfillment. Until next time!
I thought I would share some quotes that I hope will illustrate my life over the coming year.
'When one is capable of being in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.' - John Keats
Completing my Bachelor of Arts/ Social Work after six years of university life was a recent landmark for me, one that has foregrounded an element of 'uncertainty' in my life. No longer am I able to give a simple summary for the next year's anticipated plans in the form of: 'Oh, I'm going to uni', 'Yep, still at uni', 'Uh-huh, in my 2nd last year'.
Unlike my Arts degree, which arrived in the mail and provided me with an unmissed anticlimax, I actually made an effort to complete my Bachelor of Social Work. Perhaps this is why its completion will leave a more indelible mark in my life.
I considered quiting many a time and akin to my pedantic nature, I did thorough research into the pros and cons of quiting halfway through. I interviewed friends who had graduated with B.Arts and compared their experiences with friends who had graduated with B. Social Work. I started a scrapbook for possible pathways with and without a double degree. Jesus. I'm crazy.
The last milestone was going through a Mental Health placement with my own emotional organs faltering. I convinced myself that there is discipline to be cultivated in completing something that I started and have now lost conviction for.
Was this the right attitude to take at the time? I don't know. But, as Paula Abood says, 'It is the process that matters.'
Paula Abood is a community worker and activist who spoke at the launch of the Lilla International Women's Network on November the 8th, 2009, an event that I helped to organise.
I cannot recall everything that she spoke about, but these words of hers resounded with me because too often we are overly concerned about the end 'tangible' product, e.g. the obtainment of a piece of paper attesting to my having spent the past six years at university.
But really, what I gained from the past six years was not just a degree. It was practice in communicating with people whose views offended me. It was practice in challenging those closest to me and not just agreeing to passively 'be' with 'like-minded' people. It was habitualising my body and my presence to certain localities, like Cafe Ellas on Abercrombie St in Redfern, creating micro-homes, if you like.
The past six years are still helping me to laugh more easily at cringe-worthy moments, such as when I elected to become an Anti-Racism Officer and completely exoticised peoples in Western Sydney by suggesting that our first activity as a collective should be to organise 'field trips' to sample the foods out west.
CRINGE.
Let's not even begin to discuss how I thought this would address racism. Hah!
The cringe indicates my having changed, my having gained more awareness of racial politics as embodied in the very demographic of Sydney, e.g. the dynamics shaping white-dominated luxurious suburbs of Bondi and Paddington, in contrast to the Arabic-speaking populations of Lakemba, the Assyrian populations in Liverpool-Fairfield... and so on.
Yes, I stumbled, blundered, made a fool of myself and continue to be pig-headed and stubborn about views that I will come to regret, but 'it is the process that matters'...
Another quote I picked out from a poem, 'Say Yes' by Andrea Gibson, and illustrates a sentiment I will strive to uphold:
'Turn in that silver platter, for something that matters.'
I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but certainly as my parents continued to accumulate wealth throughout my childhood, this bestowed me with a gold-laced upbringing within a poverty stricken country.
This year, finally weaned off my parents' dwindling trust fund (yes, I had a trust fund all throughout university life), I am going to attempt to live on my casual earnings from a homeless shelter and maximise the flexibility of this arrangement, in order to pursue theater training.
Whenever the bank balance runs low (and believe me it is low!), I repeat this quote like a mantra and visualise being able to take on more theater commitments. As my Papa says, 'Eat that idealism until you go hungry!' Oh yes, I am eating it, alright! Mmm... Mmm... Mmm...
My last quote for this post is from Alice Cummins, the Body Mind Centering practitioner I had written about in October 2009:
'Make space for uselessness.'
Alice was speaking about 'beauty' and how in many ways 'beauty' can be considered a useless 'thing', but that as human beings 'we need beauty, deeply and desperately'.
This year I hope to make space for 'useless' quiet times, without groping after a reason to justify such peace. I think this requires me to sign off, otherwise I will begin to list all the 'benefits' I will accrue from my 'useless quiet times'!
I wish you a year of growth, of reflection (no matter how occasional) and of fulfillment. Until next time!
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